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Eastern Conference playoff predictions -- has Dwight Howard sold his house yet?

The NBA has released the schedules for the first round, and after quickly reviewing the matchups it's been decided there will be no first round games for the Eastern Conference. There is not a series in here that goes six games. Some could be done in three.

All of these are the equivalent of TCU vs. Middle Tennessee State in football. There is no Virginia Commonwealth vs. Kansas in here.

Jon and Kate Plus Eight reruns make for more compelling TV than these games:

1. Chicago vs. No. 8 Indiana

Derek Rose is still bummed about not winning the title for Memphis in '07 against Kansas, so he takes out his anger against a Pacers team that is in the playoffs for the first time since 2005. The Pacers won 37 games this year and are in the postseason.

I don't want to hear any whining the NHL lets everyone in when losing teams get into the playoffs here.

The only way this series is compelling is if ESPN televises every Pacers home game from the 1998 East Finals when Reggie Miller's Pacers pushed Michael's Bulls to Game 7 when the NBA and the refs made sure Chicago won. No, I'm not bitter.

Rose is the league MVP and is good enough to get his team to the Finals. The real Finals.

Prediction: Bulls in 4

No. 2 Miami vs. No. 7 Philly

I didn't even know Philly had pro basketball any more. The only reason to watch is the beginning the process of hoping LeBron loses. The Heat need another piece.

Please stop with the comparisons of this team to the Celtics of a few years ago when they brought in KG and Ray Allen to play with Paul Pierce. What everyone seems to forget is that Celtics team had better role players, namely Rajon Rando and Big Baby Davis.

The Heat need those types of role players to win a title. They don't have it yet.

Prediction: Heat in 4

No. 3 Boston vs. No. 6 New York

Now this will be fun, only to watch the 'Melo-drama. The Knicks are one year away before they fire coach Mark D'Antoni. His style works well in the regular season, but it won't in the post season.

How long before we hear Amare Stoudemire whine about not getting enough touches? And how long before the NYC media destroys him for playing worse defense than Glenn Robinson or Chuck Person?

Celtics GM Danny Ainge once again made a questionable decision when he dealt center Kendrick Perkins to OKC. This team's window is now, and dumping that guy because he couldn't give him a long term deal was dumb. The Celts need his body.

Boston's fate rests with a lot of old players, and the hope that Rando takes another step.

Prediction: Boston in 5

No. 4 Orlando vs. No. 5 Atlanta

Wow do I not care. Has Orlando center Dwight Howard sold his house yet? That's all I care about.

Prediction: No one watches this series.


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