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Dear Big Mac Blog reader,
This is the part of life your parents, middle school history teacher, high school guidance counselor and college teacher assistant all failed to mention during the growing up process.
The Big Mac Blog will be taking a week off.
Why?
It is not exactly a vacation.
It is not exactly the boot.
It rhymes with Merlot … which, speaking of …
See you on the other side.
All the best,
Mac
@MacEngelProf
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Lem, Private Investigator: You ever been arrested?
Jack Donaghy: I have. The 1976 Democratic national convention, but it’s OK. I was there beating up hippies.
Lem, Private Investigator: And what about your family? Any skeletons there?
Jack Donaghy: My brother Eddie sells faulty sprinkler systems to elementary schools. My cousin Tim fixes NBA basketball games. My mother is an Olympic-level racist. But, as for the rest, they are too drunk to do anything. Unless getting thrown out of a Chili’s is a crime.
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What is wrong with this photo? That's right; this movie isn't on DVD yet.
Because this thing landed in my lap, almost literally, for the very first I watched a rather illegal underground DVD of a hit Hollywood movie already in theatres.
This little underground industry is a migraine to the entertainment industry itself. Not that much different than knockoffs for Rolex watches, Luis Vuitton bags, etc. The companies try to police it and prevent it, but what can you do? Apparently this practice of selling DVDs of first-run movies on the street is real hit in major cities such as NYC, LA, London, as well as to our troops in the Middle East.
For years I had heard of people buying these movies from street vendors, only to see the quality range from a blank screen, to the language being Japanese, to trash, to OK. Going this route to watch a movie is a role of the dice; you don’t know what the movie is going to be like, if there is one at all. It is not as if you are going to be able to return the movie from the person who sold you the DVD to ask for an exchange or a refund.
This copy of The Rise of the Planet of the Apes starring James Franco on DVD for $5 is worth it, because it is $5. There are a few scenes where Franco or Freida Pinto’s head is slightly cut off in the shot. The picture quality is like a second-generation VHS recording. And the three or four scenes that require subtitles appear to originally be in Russian.
You get what you pay for.
Regardless, even with Freida Pinto, this movie would have honked in theaters.
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Please don't pay attention to the fact that the last time the Rangers finished a series against the Angels they were six games up and since then that lead has been shaved in half ...
The Rangers took 2 of 3 from the Angels when they absolutely had to and they did so against two of the Angels best pitchers.
The Rangers may not be better than the Red Sox or Yankees, or maybe not even the Tigers, but they are better than the Angels. They should win this division.
Only a month left.
@MacEngelProf
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The rather convincing thumping the Rangers took from the Red Sox over the last three nights pretty much put baby in the corner.
The Rangers are not the best team in the AL, but probably the third best. This does not mean such "power rankings" will translate directly to the postseason. One pitcher in a five-game series can change everything. Ask Tampa Bay. It's why no one will want to see Justin Verlander in a five-game series against the Tigers. The team that plays the Tigers is down 0-2 before the series starts.
But if head-to-head matchups are any indication at all, the Rangers rank very near the top. Just not the top.
Texas v. Boston: 4-3 (Rangers swept the season-opening series)
Texas v. New York: 2-7
Texas v. Tampa Bay: 2-1
Texas v. Detroit: 3-6
Texas v. Cleveland: 6-1
Texas v. Anaheim: 7-6
How the Rangers fare over these next 12 games may not determine the AL West winner, but it will give us a very good indication how the team may do in the playoffs.
Starting tonight:
3 at home against the Angels
3 at home against the Rays
3 at Boston
3 at the Rays
Godpeed.
@MacEngelProf
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Alison Scott: I'm actually doing my first on-air interview today.
Ben Stone: With who?
Alison Scott: Uh, Matthew Fox.
Ben Stone: Matthew Fox from Lost?
Alison Scott: Yeah.
Ben Stone: You know what's interesting about him?
Alison Scott: What?
Ben Stone: Nothing!
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1. Not sure what to say about yet another lopsided Red Sox win against your Rangers.
3. How about a little Andy Dalton win against Cam Newton in Fake Football last night? Dalton is going to be a better pro than Newton, but he has to get out of Cincy first.
3.5 Here is a columnist's take on Dalton's game.
4. Steve Martin is coming to SA to play his banjo.
5. Texas A&M story from the Express News about its intentions to find a new bed partner.
6. The Longhorn Network is on today. Not a lot of cable providers have added it yet.
7. An awful story from the Houston Chronicle that will make any parent sick.
8. Houston Pearland opened its season with win worthy of being the Class 5A defending state champions.
9. If/when Irene hits NYC it's going to be mean big $$ for Broadway.
10. A stunning development: Minka Kelly and Derek Jeter split. That was a very admirable three years, but enough was enough. Somewhere Scarlett Johannson is happy.
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I didn't read the story because I think the concept bores me, but here you go if you must: What would we think if Michael Vick were white? This story is going to run in ESPN The Magazine soon.
My first reaction to this Photshopped version of a white Mike Vick is that this looks very, very similar to the version of a white dude that Eddie Murphy portrayed in his brilliant SNL sketch years and years ago. Look at both photos. Coincidence? I don't think so.
This is one of the funnier and timeless sketches this show has ever produced.
My favorite part was Murphy's realizing that white people like to give things to each other for free.
I am unable to embed this video, but if you want click here to watch it.
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The Translator comes free of charge to The Big Mac Blog. He only comes when absolutely necessary. Today is one of those days.
Texas A&M sent an official lawyer-ly message to Don Beebe 'n' friends at the Big 12 Minus 2 today.
This is the statement released by Texas A&M president R. Bowen Loftin (BTW - this picture is not of R. Bowen Loftin but that of Reveille, which is A&M's version of Cujo) :
“As I have indicated previously, we are working very deliberately to act in the best long-term interests of both Texas A&M and the State of Texas. This truly is a 100-year decision. While we understand the desire of all parties to quickly reach a resolution, these are extremely complex issues that we are addressing methodically.”
After spending more than four hours deciphering this message/statement, the Translator de-coded the statement as such:
"Go to H, Bevo. We're bringing Reveille up to Austin so he can poop in your yard. Have fun on your Longhorn Network televising UT-Kansas State kickball. We're out."
@MacEngelProf
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It's going to be hard to top a chat with a 20-year-old Alabama coed, so here is an effort ....
Texas high school football begins tonight with games here and there, but it begins with a serious bah-bang on Friday night.
The FW/d area game of note I'm curious to see is Aledo against Stephenville. Aledo is the two-time defending state champs and has a cache of starters returning, most notably RB Jonthan Gray, who is a UT commitment without the Longhorn Network carrying any of his games. Who knew? According to Dave Campbell's Texas Football, Gray is one of the state's best running backs ... ever. No, this discussion can never include Earl Campbell. The Bearcats went 16-0 last season, which is better than the Patriots or the Dolphins in their attempt to be perfect.
Stephenville reached the state quarters last season and return 18 lettermen, but only four starters on offense. If the Yellow Jackets win on Friday it's because RB Aiavion Edwards goes nuts.
"This is a fun game and it's an exciting game," Stephenville head coach Joe Gillespie said. "I know they are a measuring stick game for us but I'd like to think we are a measuring stick as well. But our non-district schedule is all playoff caliber teams. These are fun games to be in because there are no district implications with it, and there is some stress taken away from it right there and gauge where your team is."
This thing has rout written all over it. Aledo is that good. But it's not a district game, so even if it's a blowout there are no big losers. Game 1 of a season is usually the worst game for a head coach because even if he has a lot of guys back he has no idea what his new team is actually going to do.
"You would think with all of the returning starters we have coming back you'd have a pretty good idea of what we're going to do but until you play you really never know," Aledo coach Tim Buchanan said.
Aledo wins, but the game I'm really looking forward to is when it plays Austin Lake Travis on September 9.
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