The Translator comes free of charge to The Big Mac Blog. He only comes when absolutely necessary. Today is one of those days.
Texas A&M sent an official lawyer-ly message to Don Beebe 'n' friends at the Big 12 Minus 2 today.
This is the statement released by Texas A&M president R. Bowen Loftin (BTW - this picture is not of R. Bowen Loftin but that of Reveille, which is A&M's version of Cujo) :
“As I have indicated previously, we are working very deliberately to act in the best long-term interests of both Texas A&M and the State of Texas. This truly is a 100-year decision. While we understand the desire of all parties to quickly reach a resolution, these are extremely complex issues that we are addressing methodically.”
After spending more than four hours deciphering this message/statement, the Translator de-coded the statement as such:
"Go to H, Bevo. We're bringing Reveille up to Austin so he can poop in your yard. Have fun on your Longhorn Network televising UT-Kansas State kickball. We're out."
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