What you are doing to the male species is cruel, and needs to end. No more books, and for the love of God no more movies.
Men across the globe shudder at the idea of being dragged to or guilted into watching one more of these sappy tales that sets the bar high so high that John Cusack's character in "Say Anything" would say, "No way, man".
Today's release of the new Zac Efron movie should do it. Apparently "The Lucky One" is a miss (If US Weekly doesn't like it, you know it sucks). When it comes to Nicholas Sparks' "movies", the male viewer typical is the unlucky one.
This is not condemnation of the romance genre. Even the most bitter and annoyed male viewer can find some value and entertainment in any number of romantic themed films.
Por ejemplo ...
"When Harry Met Sally" is a movie we can all enjoy.
"Titantic", not because of Kate and Leo but primarily because a giant, man-made boat made of "metal and brawn" sinks in a very painful way.
"Pretty Woman" was a charming movie for both boy and girl alike.
And perhaps the greatest romantic tale ever told, "Raiders of the Lost Ark".
With the release of "The Lucky One", seven Sparks' books have been made into films:
"Message in a Bottle" in 1999 starring Kevin Costner and Robin Wright. Why? If Costner isn't playing baseball or golf, it can't be any good.
"A Walk to Remember" in 2002 starring Mandy Moore (score) and Shane West. If Mandy Moore isn't singing, I'm not buyin'.
"The Notebook" in 2004 starring Rachel McAdams (score), Ryan Gosling and James Garner. This movie is like "Rocky" in that it's on cable TV at all hours.
"Nights in Rodanthe" in 2008 starring Richard Gere and Diane Lane. Once again Diane Lane is unable to maintain love.
"Dear John" in 2010 starring Amanda Seyfried and Channing Tatum. Painful.
"The Last Song" in 2010 starring Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth. Sadly, this has not been Hannah Montana's last song.
Hell hath no fury like a Sparks-ian novel/movie where cute actresses fall for impossibly hair-less men only to have their love crushed by life, a mud slide, a storm at sea, a disease or something else. Fortunately, however, the young people always have an aging veteran thespian, who was once hot, to provide sage advice.
Mr. Sparks has done exceedingly well writing the exact same thing, and he has much to be proud of. I wish I had thought of it.
Considering I did not, however, I have but one request: Please, stop.
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