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06/22/2012

Movie review: Lots of historical inaccuracies in Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

MV5BNjY2Mzc0MDA4NV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwOTg5OTcxNw@@._V1._SY317_To enjoy the new movie "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" the viewer must accept that the former U.S. President chased and killed vampires when the history books all say he was actually a zombie killing machine.

It was Franklin Pierce who killed vampires, Millard Fillmore went after werewolves and Grover Cleveland who bagged mummies.

There are other historical inaccuracies in this movie, but this is the biggest.

The Story: Abe Lincoln is a kid in Indiana when he sees his mother assaulted, and she quickly dies, at the hands of a slave trader. He swears revenge on her killer. Abe doesn't realize her killer is a vampire. Fortunately, he befriends a master vampire killer, who has a super secret. Abe learns the vampire killing trade, while also learning the law.
En route to becoming the next President, Abe kills a lot of vampires, who also have a good relationship with the slave trading folks in the South.

The people: Benjamin Walker plays Abe, and Dominic Cooper is solid as Lincoln's vampire killing tutor. The star of this movie is not one particular actor but the special effects and the imagery. And the sheer presposterous nature of the movie.

Fight scenes: There are a lot. Expect a cross between the Blade vampire movies with a lot of Matrix style slow motion. And a ton of blood.

ImageEye candy: Both Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel were in the trailer for "Total Recall", so that's always good. As far as this movie, Mary Elizabeth Winstead plays Mary Todd.

Historical liberties: So many. The movie manages to include the President of the Conferedate States, Jefferson Davis; the underground railroad; Harriet Tubman; the Battle on Fort Sumter; the battle at Gettsyburg (which serves as the climatic fight against the dead); no Lincoln movie can ever be complete without the "we're going to the theater" finale.

Did you know that: One of the reasons the Southern Army was so successful for so long was that it enlisted vampires? That would explain a lot. Give Lincoln this - he never used it as an excuse.

Holes: Really? You have to ask.

Should you see it: Sure. It's mindless, silly fun with slick special effects. Just don't expect a history lesson. Remember - Lincoln killed zombies.

 

 

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Comments

Craig C.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead is a total hottie. I'll see anything with her in it!

Nuttin'

Funniest title of a post, ever.

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