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10/04/2012

Ranking the PBS characters Mitt Romney can eliminate before he pink slips Big Bird

Sesame-street-big-birdIn his attempt to grow the economy and create jobs, Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney plans to whack Big Bird.

Romney told Jim Lehrer during the first presidential debate on Wednesday night he would stop the funding for the public broadcasting giant, but he quickly added, "I like PBS, I love Big Bird."

Big Bird is no now different than the rest of us who go to work every day knowing it may be our last. Considering how many years Big Bird has been at PBS, dropping his salary off the books not to mention the benefits would certainly aid the national economny.

Mitt is not staying true to the formula of eliminating jobs with the "last one, first one out" formula that so many companies use to reduce the work force.

But should Mitt enter the Oval Office and take on the necessary task of finally defeating PBS, he should at least re-consider Big Bird's dismissal. Consider dropping these other PBS characters before Big Bird:

10. Caillou. The kid is a train conductor. Take out Amtrak, you take out Caillou.
9. Elmo. Refuses to get a job.
8. Oscar the Grouch. After all of these years the guy won't take a bath.
7. Clifford the Big Red Dog. Vet bills are piling up; maybe it's time he "goes to a farm". 
6. Word Girl. Can't spell "surreptitiously".
5. Cookie Monster. Sending the wrong message to kids about eating right & then glorifying him.
4. Bert & Ernie. They can join the military now without any problem.
3. Sid the Science Kid. Just walks around all day holding a clipboard saying, "We can no longer depend on the Middle East for foreign oil."
2. Curious George. Can't justify dealing 'meth because he claims he was just curious.
1. Jim Lehrer.

 

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Comments

Kristin

Yeah, but, he's veggie monster now.

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