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02/19/2013

Roger Clemens' "instructional" book should follow Jack Abramoff's example

Ap-astros-spring-baseball-4_3_r536_c534Former MLB and new Hall of Famer pitcher Roger Clemens is back with the Houston Astros as a part-time professional helper-outer, full time do-gooder.

It's been more than a month since Clemens learned he just came up only 213 votes shy of reaching the Baseball Hall of Fame. Lee Smith (272) had more votes than The Rocket's 214.

Clemens is not hiding these days, but is instead helping out the young pitchers with the Houston Astros as they prepare in Florida for the start of the 2013 regular season.

According to the Houston Chronicle, Clemens is also working on a big book that will be mostly be instructional.

He told the Chronicle that he has a "couple of really solid names" to work with him to write it. Lance Armstrong, perhaps.

Of course Roger Clemens should write an instructional baseball book. No amount of instruction will allow an 18-year-old to have the type of right arm Clemens used to over-power hitters for generations. He can't teach a guy to throw a ball 97 m.p.h.

But he can help instruct youngsters how to:
1. Throw a bat at an opposing player.
2. Beat Congress, which includes convincing some of those dolts (I'm looking at you, Indiana R Dan Burton) that you are a hero.
3. Leverage the hell out of Tom Hicks for more money from the New York Yankees.
4. Find a trainer who will supply you with the right "supplements", and then completely destroy his credibility if said supplements turn out to be steroid-ish.
5. The proper use of the word "mis-remember" (yes, it really is a word).

Image.ashxA straight-forward, this-is-how-I-was-so-great Clemens "instruction" book will do nothing. He will throw in a few harmless behind-the-scene stories to maybe generate a few interviews for the release, but those stories won't have any teeth. He may receive a nice little advance, but in the end it will be another sports book that we don't buy collecting dust on a Barnes & Noble shelf.

A book we will buy is if Clemens takes the Jack Abramoff angle and just rolls it all out; Abramoff was the Washington D.C. insider and powerful lobbyist who went to jail and then wrote the book "Capitol Punishment" - of how he played the D.C. political scene.

If Clemens does that, that would be an instructional book worth reading.

 

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