Movie review: A little girl drops the hammer on The Croods

Parents should disregard any film review written by an adult about movies for kids. No parent cares about the cinematic quality of the kid flick; the aim is two hours of a decent, climate-controlled distraction that will put the parent towards the ultimate goal - bed time.

Anything else - plot, messages, story line, personal enjoyment - is a lottery.

Dreamworks latest creation, The Croods, achieves the bare minimum with lots of cute animals, pretty colors and other distractable scenes.

Alas, it also is a colossal failure - my daughter cried twice during the movie, and had a hard time sleeping as a result. There are a few explosions during the movie, as well as a menacing saber-toothed cat who doesn't turn out to be nice until the end.

This is her review.

The Big Mac Blog: Did you like the movie The Croods?
Vivian: No.

The Big Mac Blog: Why did not you like that movie?
Vivian: Because. I didn't ... want to go ... to that movie.

The Big Mac Blog: Did the movie scare you?
Vivian: Uh-huh.

The Big Mac Blog: What parts scared you?
Vivian: The scary things.

The Big Mac Blog: Do you want to see it again?
Vivian: No.

The Big Mac Blog: What movie do you want to see?
Vivian: A different one.

As you can see, this is a giant thumbs down from a 4-year-old.

Parents - go at your own risk. 

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Cowboys give guy with 1 playoff win the second most guaranteed cash in NFL history

Tony Romo may not exactly belong in the same neighborhood as Tom Brady, but now he can afford at least a plot around the corner.

Today, as has been expected for months, the Dallas Cowboys handed their franchise QB a six-year extension worth $108 million; it includes $55 million in guarantees.

This next part comes from Adam Schefter of ESPN: Tom Brady signed for the most guaranteed money in NFL history, $57 million. Romo is second with $55 million. Drew Brees also signed for $55 mil'. And Joe Flacco signed for $51 million.

Let's see ... Brady, Romo, Brees, Flacco. Something about that looks weird. Oh, yeah - only one of those guys never won a Super Bowl. Guess which one? Brees has the same number of Super Bowl wins as Romo has playoff wins.

Even former Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb noted this distinction when he Tweeted: "Tony Romo 6 yr 55 million dollar extension. Wow really, with one playoff win. You got to be kidding me."

The Cowboys had no choice. Owner/president/GM/top scout and assistant head coach Jerry Jones would apparently rather eat cat poop than suffer through another post-Troy Aikman like existence of not having a real QB. Tony Romo, as much as you may not like him, is a real QB.

Not to mention the team has about 35 cents under the salary cap to sign players, making an extension/restructuring with Romo so essential to improving a roster that needs help.

The rub, of course, is whether Romo is good enough to warrant this deal. He is so much better than when Bill Parcells gave him the keys in the fall of '06. There may not be a team that asks more of their quarterback than the Cowboys need of Romo. 

He is good, and about 15 other NFL teams would make him their starter today.

The question is did the Cowboys just wed themselves to a few more years of mediocrity simply because they were afraid, or with a few more parts can Romo actually win the games that matter.

Considering the track record of the people who are putting the parts around Romo, the safe answer is nope.

 

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TCU will be representing at the Final Four

TCU senior forward Garlon Green is probably not the best dunker in his family, but he will be representing the Green household next week in Atlanta at the Final Four festivities.

Green has been invited to participate in the NCAA Slam Dunk competition. The event also includes and men's and women's 3-point shooting competition.

Garlon will be doing this just a short while after his older brother Gerald, who plays for the Indiana Pacers, participated in the NBA Slam Dunk competition during All-Star weekend in Houston.

"I really had no idea until (TCU men's basketball media relations director Andy Anderson) called and told me they asked me," Garlon said in a short phone interview. "I really didn't expect it. I didn't have a lot of dunks this season compared to last year because our style of offense changed."

It's nice to see a guy who maybe didn't have the world's most celebrated career get a chance to do something fun as a senior such as this.

Green, 6-7, does not have the hops of his older brother, but he can fly when given the proper amount of room.

He said he has talked to Gerald about what to do, and has a few ideas of what he may try when the competition starts.

"We talk every day. He's my best friend," Green said. "I have some ideas. I'm not going to give anything away, though."

The competition will be at 6 p.m. CT at Georgia Tech. Click here to check out the field and his opponents.

 

 

 

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We must stop this March Madness of lying

ARLINGTON, Texas - The South region of the NCAA tournament is loaded with 2013 NBA draft picks, and every one of them is a big, fat liar.

Let's start with the best - guard Ben McLemore of Kansas. Depending on what mock draft you believe, he will be the top selection in June. At worst he falls no further than five.

And on Thursday when I asked him if he has made his decision to stay at KU for a second season of playing or put his name in for the draft he said, "I haven't thought about it. Right now I'm focused on this year. I don't know."

Oh, Ben. What a giant load of crap.

Florida has forward Patric Young, and Michigan has probable NBAers Tim Hardaway Jr., Glenn Robinson III and Trey Burke. Kansas has center Jeff Withey, but he is a senior and done with his eligibility. And all of them, with the exception of Withey, say the same thing.

Not sure. Talk to my family. Talk to my coaches. Blah blah blah.

At this stage in college athletics exactly who is kidding who here? I'm shocked McLemore returned after having to sit out his first year at KU. 

Does anyone believe Ben McLemore, who is potentially staring at a life-changing seven-figure check, is not thinking about coming out early to play in the NBA? Or Robinson III, or Young? 

No one is insulting anyone if a young man just says what we know - I want to win, and I want my next check for playing basketball to be over the table.

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Michigan's tie-in with the most famous two-step in Texas history

ARLINGTON, Texas - There is some resemblance in the face, but after that Tim Hardaway Jr. doesn't have many of the physical characteristics as his famous dad.

He wasn't born when the late head coach of UTEP, Don Haskins, recruited a little guard out of Chicago to come to El Paso, Texas to play basketball for four years. That's how long ago Tim Hardaway played - good players stayed all four years. 

Today, absolutely no one expects his son - who is a 6-foot-6 junior shooting guard at Michigan and in town to play Kansas in the Sweet 16 on Friday night - to stay in Ann Arbor for four years. He is projected as a mid first-round pick in the 2013 NBA draft, should he elect to come out.

Hardaway arrived in El Paso in 1985 and during his four-year career averaged 11.7 points, 4.5 assists and 2.1 steals per game. Despite being just 6-0, he thrived because he was built like a tank, possessed incredible ball handling skills, and could penetrate with what is forever known as "The UTEP two-step". It was maybe the most devastating cross-over dribble in NBA history. 

His son is very good, but a totally different player.

"His dad was 6-foot and could really handle a ball at a high level and was a point guard," Michigan point guard Trey Burke said today. "That's a tough comparison."

Dad's advice was pretty simple - be your own guy.

"It's great just to go out there and play not only for yourself and for your family and for the last name," Hardaway Jr. said when I asked him if it's hard to live up to his famous dad. "He tells me to go out and have fun and don't worry about it; try to make a name for yourself. I'm 6-6, he was 6-foot. He's a point guard. I'm not. That's basically it, he could tell you that straight up."

 

 

 

 

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A Q&A with the most famous coaches' wife in America - Amanda Marcum

ARLINGTON, Texas - Put Amanda Marcum Enfield along with Marissa MIller as one of the few of those of TV pretty people types who actually look better in person than they do on the screen.

(BTW - they never, ever look like they do on the cover of the magazine; thanks PhotoShop!)

Marcum is the better half of Florida Gulf Coast men's basketball coach Andy Enfield; she has recently had the Katherine Webb treatment, without Brent Musberger.

The difference between Marcum and Webb is that one is dying for the camera while the other appears she would rather be done with them.

Amanda Marcum is a former model who once graced the pages of Maxim, but is now married with three children with Andy Enfield. Their kids are around 7, 5 and 2.

As 15th-seeded FGCU upset Georgetown and San Diego State in the second and third rounds of this NCAA Tournament, the camera crews could not show Marcum enough. Wonder if dudes were manning those cameras?

Marcum is again with her team, and her three little kids, this time in Arlington as they prepare to play Florida in the Sweet 16 on Friday night.

She was gracious enough to stop for a quick chat about her sudden, and pretty much unwanted, fame.

Big Mac Blog: You are used to being in front of the camera.
Amanda Marcum Enfield: Well, it's been a while.

Big Mac Blog: But are you comfortable with all of this?
Amanda Marcum Enfield: As much as I do appreciate it and it's nice, but I don't know that I am completely comfortable with it. This is not about me. This is about this team. That's the reason why we're here. They should have all of the attention. But I do appreciate it. It's nice. 

Big Mac Blog: When was the last time you worked as a model?
Amanda Marcum Enfield: I think it's been about ... the last shot I did was about four years ago. I really wasn't doing much then either because I had moved to Florida and had my children and basically just stopped. It was hard to move to Tallahassee and have kids and all of that. 

Big Mac Blog: When were you aware that your popularity and fame had taken off?
Amanda Marcum Enfield: I still don't know. It's seems really strange. I just ... it's hard to believe. I'm not sure I quite understand, or what's going on. It's been overwhelming and unexpected. Right now I'm enjoying watching this team.

Big Mac Blog: Would you ever want to go back.
Amanda Marcum Enfield: No. I'm in a different phase of my life. My family is 100 percent first. I don't know that I could do what I used to do and be the mom I want to be. It would be very strange.

 

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Quote of the day

Coach Finstock: It doesn't matter how you play the game, it's whether you win or lose. And even that doesn't make all that much difference.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Walking Dead season ending, but World War Z is coming

With the Walking Dead's third season coming to a finale on Sunday we won't be able to get our proper zombie fix for a while. Thanks to the endless efforts of Brad Pitt, Max Brooks' great novel - World War Z - is coming to the big screen in June.

For those of you who have not read this book pick it up and give it a shot. It's a fun read, and a different way to look at zombies. Brooks constructs his book around a documentary filmmaker who is trying to tell the story of the international zombie apocalypse.

The book is great fun, but conceptually it would seem this would be a difficult translation to a movie. There are several different stories that make one, big story.

From the looks of the trailers, the movie World War Z looks like a massive big-budget Hollywood production that will focus on one of book's characters as the platform to tell the many angles of the book.

Max Brooks is credited as one of the screenwriters, so hopefully that will help turn his wonderful book into a fun day at the theater.

 

 

 

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The manager of the Houston Astros once won a game for the Texas Rangers

The Major League Baseball season starts on Sunday, which means we are just short six months away from the start of the playoffs!

On Sunday night, your Texas Rangers professional baseball team will travel to Houston to play the Astros in an American League West rivalry game. As much as I hate to see the National League gone from the great state a' Texas - because the NL game is the better brand of baseball - I do love to see Texas and Houston play each other all the time.

The Astros are going absolutely suck this year, but they do have a nice little story in manager Bo Porter, who played for the Rangers in 2001. He is a good guy and deserves a better roster to see how well he can actually manage a game, and a team.

Bo was a utility player for the Chicago Cubs, Oakland A's and Rangers from 1999 to 2001. He appeared in 89 big league games and batted .214 with two home runs and 8 RBIs.

Here is one of the most tragic wastes of brain matter in recorded history - I vividly recall his second home run.

By the time the Rangers faced the A's on July 1 in 2001 in Arlington the home team was way out of first place, everyone was mad because in Alex Rodrguez's first year with the club the team was terrible.

This game was delayed 90 minutes by rain, and by the middle of the fifth inning A's starter Mark Mulder was running over all of the Rangers hitters. Rangers starter Rick Helling was effective, but the A's led 1-0 in the bottom of the eighth inning.

The Rangers had two on with two outs in the bottom of the eighth when Porter came to the plate to face Mulder. This next part is true: Mulder was laboring, and I was watching the game in the press box thinking, "Porter is going to hit a home run."

Porter fell behind 1-2 in the count before hitting a long drive down the left field line that just barely cleared the fence for a three-run home run.

"Anytime you hit a game-winning home run, it's exciting," Porter said after the game.

They were the last RBIs in Porter's career.

The Rangers improved to 32-48 with the win. That A's team featured Mulder, Barry Zito, Tim Hudson, Jason Giambi, Miquel Tejada, Eric Chavez, Johnny Damon and Jermaine Dye. They would win 102 games.

After this game, Porter would have four more big league hits and appear in 14 more big league games.

He eventually made it back to the bigs as a manager.

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No kidding - TCU guys form a solid hip hop duo

Dedicated readers of this blog (both of you) know that there is no bigger fan of rap or hip hop than The BIg Mac Blog. OK, so maybe that is a giant exaggeration of a massive lie, but good and local deserves heart and love.

If you are a fan of the local and enjoy the hip hop rap thing, do yourself a favor and check out these guys - Midway, which is comprised of TCU student Lou Charles, and TCU grad Kev Nolan. What is wrong with this picture? Kev will admit that he is white.

Don't be fooled. Both have solid jump shots, and can actually sing. Really well.

The duo recently returned from performing at South by Southwest, and their stuff doesn't suck.

Have an open mind and check this out. Click here for their Facebook page.

Find them on Twitter @MidWayTX

And the pair have a YouTube page - www.YouTube.com/midwaytck

Here is one of their tracks: 

 

 

 

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