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04/11/2013

The ideal endings for Tiger Woods

399959_10151317410730121_164825930120_23157808_1686680469_nNow that Tiger Woods has a new blonde who looks nothing like his ex, he has regained his stroke. Wow … just so many pun possibilities.

He is doing cute commercials with Arnold Palmer.
He is Facebooking cute pix with his new GF, that skier girl who once had a cameo on Law and Order before she shredded her knee in a really cool wipeout on the slopes.
He is also winning.

No one is more excited about Tiger’s three PGA wins in 2013 than the sports media, which has announced that the biggest name in golf is baaaaack. When Tiger wins, golf wins. There is an agenda to push (and pray) that the biggest name in golf returns to his Michael Jordan like dominance because he moves product. 

He’s not back until he is lapping the field in a major. Today, Tiger takes to Augusta National in an attempt to embarrass the other golfers of the world and remind them – you may be Rory or Phil, but you’re not me. He apparently is going to win this tournament by 55 strokes, or something.

My hope for Tiger is that he regains his relevance by winning the tournaments most of the masses don’t watch, and then gags in the final round of each and every major hereafter. That would be great theater.

This is not an aimless hope that Tiger never reaches that majors record, or some deserved karmic comeuppance for his personal life. His personal life is personal, and I simply don’t care.

This is more about a man who fakes humility, is insulted when he isn’t treated with the Tiger double standard, acts like a spoiled brat on the course and politely extends a silent middle finger to those who don’t kiss the ring.

It's all about Tiger, and screw the game, the PGA and, while we're at it - you, too.

This is a man who while he pays homage to the names before him like Arnie and Jack, acts as if he is better than those men. It feels insincere and forced. Maybe he is just a socially awkward man/nerd whose entire existence has been golf and little else.

Like everyone, I will remain intrigued as long as Tiger is relevant because he is Tiger. But my hope is that while Tiger wins a few here and there that the big ones have the final say. As big you as you are, the green and the rough will always get their way.

Twitter @MacEngelProf

tengel@star-telegram.com

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