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02/13/2014

Big Mac parenting crisis

IMG_3538The photo you see to your right is a murder. 

Fin
Dec. 2012 - Feb. 2014
Taken from us too soon

This Beta fish was a present from Santa Claus to my daughter, but as evidenced by this photo - he didn't make it. Murder. His blood is on my hands.

Like any parent who ever brings a pet into their child's life, one of the main reasons to care for said creature is to avoid the discussion of death. As a result, Fin led a good life.

Clean water. A pink castle in his tank. A plastic plant. Country club membership. Gun club membership. Weekly cigars. Call girls. Internet access. Fin had it made. All because his keeper did not want to go there with his kid.

But life, or murder, sometimes happen. While changing his water, Fin fell into the sink. He was slowly flopping his way to the disposal, and certain death. Heroically, I clutched Fin and pushed him to the edge of the sink.

Small problem - the little guy was cleft in twain by my own hands. That is when God opened this door: My daughter did not witness the execution.

Like Dennis Hopper's character, Howard Payne, said in the 1994 Keanu Reeves' classic "Speed" I was faced with the following question: "Pop quiz, hot shot - you just murdered your daughter's fish but she doesn't know it. What do you do?"

a.) Tell her, and proceed with a Cosby Show style funeral of Fin's scattered remains into the toilet.
b.) Don't tell her, hope she doesn't notice, and replace Fin with Fin II for $3.99.

As you can see by this photo, Fin II has a new home.

IMG_3537

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Comments

frank lee morris

nice story

Rick Jensen

This reminds me of the day my daughters' parakeet keeled over. The girls were already at school when I discovered The lifeless ChiChi on the bottom of the cage. I promptly disposed of the bird, cleaned the cage and moved it into the garage. Shortly after doing this, I received a call from school; Joelle has a fever a needs to be picked up. I arrived at the school only to find her crying her eyes out…she was in Second Grade and would be missing the first day of school ever. When we arrived home she was still bawling. What to do? What to do? "Joelle, I have good news and bad news for you." "Which would you like to hear first?" Through her sobs, "What's the bad news?" "ChiChi died last night." I expected more tears, but no…quietly, "Daddy, what's the good news?" "You don't have to clean the cage anymore." I detected a quick smirk followed by more tears.

Davidmar

Well, I guess that rules out Red Lobster tonight.

Whit L

For some odd reason Beta fish like the disposal. My heartthrob girlfriend in the 6th grade gave me one for my birthday. It was my responsibility to clean the so-called tank. In doing so the fighting fish slipped down the sink into the disposal. There I am sticking my elementary school sized hand into the food chamber of death to retrieve the thing. The story ends well and I got him out but he was pure white instead of the original bluish hue and survived. However, the story of the replacement hamster for the one that died after our trip to Port Aransas does not end well for my dad. We all noticed. Whitey wasn't so white anymore. More like spotted. Dad is busted.

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