DALLAS, Texas - Those in attendance at The History of the Eagles Tour were almost as entertaining as the aging rockers themselves.
We have Joan Rivers texting her bestie. The next photo is of a woman killing it with the gold lamay pants. The best part was the staggering number of fans who paid good money to see one of rock and roll's most enduring acts leave early so they could get to bed.
The minimum age of those in attendance at the Monopoly Airlines Center had to be 50, AARP cards were welcome, and rather than hand out joints or other illegal drugs, people were too busy exchanging business cards, or trying to align playdates.
While everybody tried hard to be young again, there were undeniable moments in a show that lasted nearly three hours and covered 27 songs that The Eagles are the rare bird to remain worth it when, as evidenced by the crowd, the rest of us are washed up.
Every creative type all fight the oncoming threat of being washed up - when they no longer have it.
Whether it's age, competitors, their own indifference and lack of creativity, it gets all of 'em from basketball players to writers to painters to models.
The History of The Eagles Tour: The Search For More Money proved that Don Henley can still hit the high notes, and is as talented of a writer and musician as any of any era, Glenn Frey is still a self important blank-bag, the group sounds wonderful in unison, and people will never tire of Joe Walsh. Thanks mostly to Henley's considerably talents, they still got it - and they know how to deliver an entertaining show to an audience that wants to remember the younger days when they could take it easy without worrying. When they sing "Desperado" or Walsh opens with that guitar on "In the City", it's as if they never aged a day.
In this same building, we are watching the same thing with Dallas Mavericks forward Dirk Nowitzki. He is 35, and worth the price of admission; there are signs of aging. He recently told Bill Simmons on Grantland that he thinks he could play into his 40s. As a shooter, he could. His game never relied on quickness, or brute strength, but intelligence, recognition and a great shot.
It is no fun to watch the player, or listen to the musician, try to hang on when it's gone. It is why so many acts flee to Vegas, or play an Indian Resort Casino. What is happening to Journey since Steve Perry destroyed his voice is pathetic.
Watching former Mavs guard Jason Kidd struggle through his final season with the New York Knicks was sad.
The mind may work better, but the body parts simply don't work the same. For anybody who ever entered the unconventional world of having their work available for public consumption, and criticism, there is a strict pyramid. If you are thinking about entering a "creative" field, be sure to check with this highly scientific Big Mac Blog Pyramid of Creative Relevance:
MODEL: The hardest. You're only so hot for so long. Kate Upton today will stop all kinds of traffic, whereas when we see Christie Brinkley on the cover of People we all say, "She looks fantastic, for 60." The hot model may last until the mid 20s.
The rule: Any Playboy or Maxim model.
The exception: Gisele Bunchden
Aging well: Stephanie Seymour (wow)
Washed up: Tyra Banks.
ATHLETE: Thanks to superior training and dieting - and HGH and PEDs - the window is bigger than ever. It all depends on the sport, but 30 is no longer a death sentence.
The rule: Marion Barber
The exception: Brett Favre
Aging well: Dirk Nowitzki
Washed up: Kevin Garnett
MUSICIAN: If the performer relies on tricks, Autotone, and a fleet of backup singers, cut the time in half. If the performer can actually sing, write, and play an instrument they can go and go provided they land a hit, are OK with performing it for forever, and never stop tinkering with what works. If they remake themselves, their effort will be lauded, and probably flop.
The rule: Hanson, most of the American Idon/The Voice performers
The exception: Dr. Dre
Aging well: Pink
Washed up: Bob Dylan
THESPIAN: If the performer relies more on looks (Jessica Biel) to land "hot" roles, they're screwed. This is a savage medium for females.
The rule: Jessica Alba/The Cast of Entourage
The exception: Meryl Streep
Aging well: Alec Baldwin
Washed up: Al Pacino
ARTIST: A craft where the performer improves with age. Provided the artist does not lose his mind and go nuts (Caravaggio), some of the history's most celebrated artists did their best work in their latter years. Van Gogh painted "Wheatfield with Crows" in 1890 - his last painting.
Some of Claude Monet's most celebrated works, especially his paintings from his gardens at Giverny, were in his latter years.
WRITER: No, no bias here. If the author can avoid plagiarizing themselves, and continues to read and absorb and observe, or create, new material, this is the a creative platform where the "performer" can improve with age more than any other.
I'm banking on it.
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