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Writer, Fatter, Slower: Swimsuit shopping in London

Swimsuit shopping is an ugly ordeal.

There is way too much confrontation with body parts that are usually hidden from view and mirrors. I avoid it for years until the last suit finally gives out, the elastic properties break down and the formerly stretchy garment is nothing more than a limp rag of broken threads. That prompts a shopping trip that generates the question of coverup. How covered will I have to go this time? Which body parts need to be retired to the Lycra wrap of mummification? 

The Olympics offer a range of swimwear, and uniforms that could pass for swimwear, for a multitude of body types. Granted, most of the ones modeled in London are on extremely fit young people, but they are not all built to model specificatoins.

Swimsuit bikiniThe beach volleyball bikinis are the most minuscule of swimwear, only a thong could be less and some of the beach bikini bottoms work their way into thongs by the end of the extremely active matches. No.

These are for the very young. There was a time, between Mexico City and Los Angeles, when this was personally possible but that was many Olympics ago.  

Here the Brazilian girls of babeball l show us what is considered modest, full coverage swimwear in their country.





Swimsuit one piece canada2

Moving on to the diving pool the divers showed off their one piece suits. The maillots were much more exposed on the back, but offered a good bit of coverage in the front. The nature of their work induced wedgies. Everyone exited the pool tugging on their back sides, but for the post child-bearing years these were a consideration. If the triple spinning full twist with a backward upside down pike and blood curdling screaming entry is no longer in the repetoire these are a good option. 

They look especially good on the Canadian divers. Maybe it is the print, maybe it would make everyone look thin, fit and 21. Ya think? 


Swimsuit badmintonWho am I kidding I need more yardage for more coverage. The badminton courts proved to have some darling little dresses with matching panties. Some of them had a small frill of petticoat that peaked out from underneath such as this one worn by a member of the Japanese team. Skirted suits though look like one huge apology for the thighs underneath. No. Not this either.

Swimsuit vollmer

The answer is so obvious. It's in the winner's circle regularly. It is Speedo's competition compression suit the Fastskin3 that offers coverage from shoulders to knees. It's black with sheer panelsns that make it very elegant, almost cocktail wear. The price is heart stopping, $595. but for a sleek silhouette such as this the price can be justified. There is only one thing that concerns me and it is of great concern. Speedo is proud to claim these suits have "armhole entry". There is nothing in my closet where an arm hole entry would be preferable.Arming2

Can this possibly be as described and will I need the armings issued to the  basketball team to compress my arms for entry?  I'll keep shopping the Olympics, there are more swimsuits to come, and the track suits will be here soon. They should have some compression features too. While I'm no longer young the games are. 

--Gaile Robinson





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